You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
