i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
