"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize
