She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize