who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was so not down for the gang bang
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
