You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
