real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
