on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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