whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize