Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail