wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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