he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize