Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
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Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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