at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
