Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
