we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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