I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
