Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
