So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
