before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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