You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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