just tell him i said nine months
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
