Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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