the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
