The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
