I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
