I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
