Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
this hospital has no fireball
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
