Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
