yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
