I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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