i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
