I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
