what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
