she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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