ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
