hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
