He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
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When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.