9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive