I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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