I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
