This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize