he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
