Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
