And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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