I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
