wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
