google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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