D3 body, D1 cock
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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