OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
