they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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