i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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