yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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