Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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