R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
