FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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