i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
