I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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