So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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