so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had sex on a dog bed..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize