READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
