I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
