Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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