some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
