ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
please come you make the beer taste better
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
